vingt-sept janvier
Ah Ma passed away today. What more can I have but endless regrets.
Why didn't I take the chance to talk to her more when she was around?
Why didn't I go for reunion dinner? Why didn't I visit them yesterday? When was the last time I even saw her?
I have no idea.
So may chances were given to me, yet i never once took the opportunity to communicate with her. I always blame the fact that I cant speak hokkien and thus do not bother to talk to her much. Thinking back I could have asked my sis to translate for me when speaking to her.
As the saying goes: you never appreciate something until you have lost it
I guess for once I admit I can fully relate to this.
I soo wanna cry out loud but my tears can never flow out.What's wrong with me?
Whenever I need to cry, my tears are always held back. Why?Why cant i jus cry it all out?
Mum and the rest are trying to get tickets back to Singapore now. Things on my mind
- Who was there at Ah Ma deathbed?
-What was Ah Ma thinking at that point?
-Where was I when she wanted me to be there?
-When can I see her face for the last time?
-Why is all this happening during CNY?
-Which house will Ah Gong stay at now
-How will Ah Gong take this blow
To think just last week I was re enacting a scene where i'm the guy whoose grandma just passed away. Somehow when I heard this news, immediately this struck my mind. Should I have just used another scene? Chinese would believe this was the cause. But i guess this would just be my imagination.
P.S thank you Bimbyu for comforting me ya!really appreciate it.=)
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