Vingt-neuf janvier
Today I finally got the chance to see Ah Ma.
Sad part was when I reached, she was already lying in the coffin and I cant even touch her hands at all. Too bad I guess.
When Dad came, he cried like mad. First time seeing him cry so badly.
Cant blame him, its his mother after all.
Ended up staying there till 6am in the morning.
So tired that I missed MBS lecture yet again.
Owell need to get and LOA just for lecutre. Like wth.
Accouning was such a relieve today!
I got 45/50 for the test even though my pinetree was done in periodic instead of perpetual
OMG cant believe it. Mark was super funny today. He was so happy that he got 38/50 for the test. He immediately jumped for joy and hit the red bull can in my hands.
End up it spilled all over the floor and his pants absorbed a large portion of it!
Accounting project was such a waste though.
We managed to get a A but we did not hand in the general journal component (18 marks).super wasted
Owell at least its still an A
Anyway, at french today was super dumb.
Me and Zen sat right in front of Ms Karen so that we could do our role play consultation first
End up she told up that we did not have 2 copies and did not do double line spacing.
So guess what? We had to go down to reprint it again.
So in the end we had to settle for like seventh?
Have to go sleep for now. Need to go back to Yishun later. Gonna be super tired=(
vingt-huit janvier
This is my somewhat first wake I have ever attended. All other previous wakes would be too long ago to remember. I'm not even sure the day after someone's death is called a wake. Should I be wearing black? Should I be wearing shoes? My family is not in Singapore to tell me what I should be wearing. I guess overdependence is catching up on me. Well, at least they will be back in Singapore by tonight.
On a lighter note, Ling Yu pang seh me again =.=
We were supposed to meet in school for breakfast at 12. But she overslept!!!!OMG.
Well I guess I have to get going. Yishun is really far from my house.
P.S thanks Mark for advising me what to wear and stuff=)
vingt-sept janvier
Ah Ma passed away today. What more can I have but endless regrets.
Why didn't I take the chance to talk to her more when she was around?
Why didn't I go for reunion dinner? Why didn't I visit them yesterday? When was the last time I even saw her?
I have no idea.
So may chances were given to me, yet i never once took the opportunity to communicate with her. I always blame the fact that I cant speak hokkien and thus do not bother to talk to her much. Thinking back I could have asked my sis to translate for me when speaking to her.
As the saying goes: you never appreciate something until you have lost it
I guess for once I admit I can fully relate to this.
I soo wanna cry out loud but my tears can never flow out.What's wrong with me?
Whenever I need to cry, my tears are always held back. Why?Why cant i jus cry it all out?
Mum and the rest are trying to get tickets back to Singapore now. Things on my mind
- Who was there at Ah Ma deathbed?
-What was Ah Ma thinking at that point?
-Where was I when she wanted me to be there?
-When can I see her face for the last time?
-Why is all this happening during CNY?
-Which house will Ah Gong stay at now
-How will Ah Gong take this blow
To think just last week I was re enacting a scene where i'm the guy whoose grandma just passed away. Somehow when I heard this news, immediately this struck my mind. Should I have just used another scene? Chinese would believe this was the cause. But i guess this would just be my imagination.
P.S thank you Bimbyu for comforting me ya!really appreciate it.=)